THE SHOE PROBLEM

"I have to tell you about the shoe problem."

"What's the shoe problem?"

"I have this pair of shoes, they're black with some red and a splash of white, and this pair of shoes is MY pair of shoes, my ideal shoe, and they're special shoes because they'll never wear out, their color won't ever fade, they'll never need to be replaced--"

"So then what's the problem with these shoes?"

"This is the shoe problem:

As of last week, I'm having trouble locating the left shoe, 'having trouble' meaning I can't find it, it's lost. I ransack my house, I check everywhere: under the bed, in the couch cushions, the attic, the closets, the bathtub, everywhere. So I go online but can't find it, I go on ebay but there's nothing, I even search for it on google, I type in 'MATCHING LEFT SHOE' but the search-result has 0 results, the search-result says "did you mean 'FACT SHE LEFT YOU'" and I say no that's not what I meant, well maybe I did, but nah, no that's not exactly what I meant, and oh nevermind what was I thinking, you're just a machine what would you know anyway. So I go to the mall to all of the various shoe stores and none of them have this particular pair of shoes, these black shoes with some red and a splash of white. But the salespeople in the stores show me other shoes, they give me alternatives -- they show me shoes that are very very similar to MY shoe but still not quite the same. Same laces, same style but the sole is different. Same color, but the tongue is cut a little bit differently, same material but the width isn't the same. And some of these shoes the salespeople show me have such subtle differences that hardly anyone probably no one would notice, would be able to recognize that I'm wearing two different shoes. For a split second, I consider purchasing these shoes to wear the left one with the right one, my favorite one, that I already own. I mean, these alternate, resemblant shoes fit perfectly, the left shoe fits perfectly, and you really can't discern the difference, and I'm trying them on and walking around the store to test their comfort, and they feel good, they feel very good, and it's true, if you look in the foot-mirror, you really can't notice the difference. But I can. I mean I barely can, in fact I almost can't, my eyes almost can't recognize the difference, but I know they're two different shoes, I know this left shoe isn't the same, isn't right, isn't the right shoe's match, and because I know this because I know they're different, they kind of then, yeah, they do appear different and yeah they actually even feel different. So I tell the salesperson "Hey thanks, hey thanks a bunch, thanks but no thanks, thanks for your time and help and effort and thanks, thanks for that, thanks for lacing up these shoes for me so I was able to try them on, thanks but I'm gonna pass."  And this happens and continues to happen in eachandevery store I go to, and I reach the point where, despite the multitudes of shoe stores, they're all essentially the same store which has convinced me that none of the shoe stores in the whole world carry the left shoe the other matching shoe, and I decide to say "Fuck it" but not "Fuck it, I'll buy the most resemblant shoe" but actually "Fuck it, I'd rather walk around with only 1 shoe than walk around with 2 shoes, always knowing that that left shoe, that second shoe isn't the real matching shoe, always knowing that although I can't find the original left shoe and never will, that it still does exist somewhere in space."

xoxo

HEARTBREAK DIAGRAM

xoxo

LAPTOP DEATH, PREDESTINATION, & NEW ART

Five days ago, in a tragic turn of events, my laptop passed away.  I guess I can't say I was that surprised, as the little guy displayed numerous symptoms of terminal illness for approximately the past year.  And so, exiting with a bang on Thursday night, while I was editing some recordings, the monitor suddenly ran amuck, everything - letters, numbers, lines, boxes, everything - melted and merged which resulted in the screen looking like a drunk rainbow.  And then it went black.

I'm not sure what's sadder: my laptop's death or my feelings of utter disorientation that ensued for the next four days.  On Friday morning, I awoke to the realization that I had no Microsoft Office, no Chess, no iTunes, no YouTube, no gmail, no audio/video editing software, no Skype, no New York Jets messageboard,  no *gasp* Facebook.  So I did what any rational person would do upon waking up to that situation -- I went back to sleep.


I suppose having all of this shit at our fingertips says a lot about the evolution of humans: we are pretty fucking intelligent organisms.  It also says we're just as complacent and dependent as we are intelligent.


The sun emits some sort of megamagnetic waves that, like everything else, are cyclical, occurring every several-hundred-someodd years.  According to physicists, Earth is due one of these waves within the next five years, and when this event happens, that fine invention we call electricity will meet its maker.  In the meantime, I'm typing this blog and backing up my files on an external hard drive.


*****************



Chances are, you're familiar with the author Philip K. Dick, and you don't even know it.  He was an awesome SciFi writer whose philosophical ideas and stories have been the basis for many excellent films.  Blade Runner, Total Recall, Minority Report and A Scanner Darkly are films adapted directly from his work.  Other films, such as Donnie Darko, The Matrix, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Vanilla Sky, Pi, and Inception have all been influenced by him.


Recently, I saw a trailer for The Adjustment Bureau which adapts a Philp K. Dick story called "The Adjustment Team."



Among the themes, the music, and the fact that just about every Matt Damon film turns out to be tremendous, I think this movie will be wonderful.  Can't wait to see it.


*****************


In the current era of sex-tape resumes and Seaside Heights eminence, I find it quite refreshing when thespians shine their limelight in the direction opposite of self-aggrandizement.  And I find it even more refreshing when that direction is Art.  Perhaps I'm just a sucker for Shakespearean film-adaptations and unconventional love stories, but I'm buying what Joseph Gordon-Levitt is selling: an ongoing multimedia Art project called hitRECord.

Fusing the aesthetics of literature, film, music, photography, paint, dance, and every other artistic medium under the sun, the project publishes pieces that are submitted by any person with creative impulse.  One of the most fascinating aspects of hitRECord is that upon registering, you sign a waiver permitting your submissions to be used by the project's other members.  For example, someone might remix your slideshow with their own dialogue (of course, any reproduction is also attributed to the original artist), and someone can further remix that remix.


It should be noted that while hitRECord is a reservoir of creative juices established for the sake of Art, it also is Joseph Gordon-Levitt's company and, thus, profits are to be had; and since RegularJOE (his name in the project's domain) is a kind and fair spirit, he gives you a percentage of any profit that's made from your work.

Here's a spectaculous piece from a series in the project:
"Morgan & Destiny's Eleventeeth Date - (white walls)"


 


If you enjoyed that, then you should definitely explore hitRECord, and if you're really feeling frisky, then register to join in on the funfulness.


Ta-Ta for now.


xoxo